Oh, how a week can change.

Wow. What a week. A week ago today, I was really happy. I had a new friend come visit me at church. Later in the day, got a phone call from the same friend while at lunch with the fam. Hung out that night. Now a week later, I have been told not to even talk to this new friend. Life is like that. You get ups and downs. You get (what feels to you at least) good times and bad. What is totally awesome one day is the very thing that makes you depressed the next. Your best friend becomes a complete stranger.

This reminds me of a week in the life of my Savior. Read Matthew 21. Jesus enters Jerusalem triumphantly. HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST!!! BLESS THE NAME OF GOD AND THE ONE WHO COMES IN HIS NAME!!! That sounds mighty different from what was being screamed less than a week later. Read Matthew 27. CRUCIFY HIM!!! LET HIS DEATH BE ON OUR HEADS!!! One day, Jesus is the hero of the people. In a matter of days the same people want Him dead.

"When the world hates you, remember it hated me before it hated you." Jesus said this in John 15:18. You know what? Sometimes life is tough and brutal. This is exactly how I feel. This is how I want to feel. This is the self-righteous answer.

But sometimes it is exactly what is needed! We can look at this week in the life of Christ and be very negative. We can wish things would have been different. But this would be the wrong application. Jesus had to die. This week had to happen for Him. "For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45). The purpose for God to put on flesh was for Him to save sinners. This week was exactly what the doctor ordered (Mark 2:17).

So, what about my life? Should I be negative? Should I seek to find out how right I am, and how wrong others are? Should I lay awake at night thinking badly of people who I still consider very good friends? Or should I seek the will of God and see how this is exactly what His will is? We love to pat ourselves on the back and say, "See! I did everything right this time." Yet, we don't pause and look at the situation well enough to let the darkness shine through. God is light. His word is light (Psalm 119:105).

Lets look how Jesus' week ended. Matthew 28 shows us the end of the week. Jesus lives! My week may last a lot longer than 7 days, but God is in control. I have already handled things poorly. I could continue that streak, or I could allow my life to be molded by the master potter (Jer. 18:6).

God, please help me as I continue to grow. I know I make mistakes, and I know I misuse that blessing that you give to me. I repent of that, and I pray that I will give up myself and allow myself to be filled with you. Thank you for putting friends in my life that are big enough to listen to your voice. I would have continued down a path headed to destruction. I may not react the right way, but I am glad you get to me eventually and don't just give up on me. Even if I shout, scream, cry, or beg - please continue to use me as you see fit. And please mold me into the man that is a true friend, not just a user friend. Amen.

A sense of humor.

Have you ever wondered about God's sense of humor? I watched a sermon by Pastor Mark Driscoll about humor that got me thinking. God can be funny. Not in a knee slapping, side splitting way, but in a subtle way.

Example?
Have you ever prayed asking God to help you learn patience and then the very next day the most annoying person you know is right in your face for about two hours, or you have to go to the airport and the interstate is backed up for 40 miles? What about praying that God will show you true love and then your girl/boyfriend breaks your heart? You ask God to show you how to trust in Him and he tears down everything in your life until all you have left is Him or running away from the faith.

God doesn't toy around. But He loves Irony.
1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
2. Literature.
a. a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
b. (esp. in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., esp. as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.

God also enjoys Satire.
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.

Read the Bible, it is chuck full of God showing us how little we are, not to be mean - but to show us how much we honestly NEED Him. When this happens, it is sardonically funny. It is hard to not slightly chuckle at the idea of Job questioning God's justice and God saying "Who are you to question me? Where you there when I created the world?"

God does the same with us.
Me - "Please Lord, I want to trust you more. Please help me learn how. I am willing to do anything to learn how to love you more."
God - "OK, you want to trust Me. I can make it to where you trust Me, but it may not be what you were expecting."
Me - "OWW!! I actually just prayed that cause I felt convicted one night, not because I actually want to trust you God. I want "Kid Gloves God" not "Creator of the Universe God." Take it easy."

The thing to remember in all this is that God is Good! He always has His best interests at heart and His interest is always what is gonna be best for us when we understand that we are here to bring God glory - it is the chief end of man. Growth is not easy. It never will be. But, when we open our eyes we can see that it is funny. Just like watching the teenage boy stumble around girls and hear his voice crack, watching "teenage" Christians is funny too. Don't take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh. Next time you ask God to help you grow - be ready for the unexpected. If this life were easy, we would not feel a need for God, even though it would still be there. God is more than just your friend, he is your Lord. Growth won't kill you even if it sometimes feels like it. Remember that the next time your patience is stretched, your heart is bruised, and your faith feels weak.

Theology Matters: Peace with God

Teething with bloody gums and wet cheeks

Hey anyone who may read this, which is possibly no one. Sorry it has been so long since I have written. I got a new job and am still working my other one and have 4 classes at seminary this semester. Hectic to say the least, but still... writing is fun and I need to keep it up. Hopefully I will be able to keep up on her somewhat more regularly in the future.

speaking of the future - I am so glad I have a God who loves me, because I hate myself so often. Example - I am a crap friend. I never call anyone to hang out. I sit in my room and try to enrich my brain so I can win arguments. I have a deep understanding of Scripture and am gifted of God to be able to communicate the Scriptures, but I would rather look good than Godly. My sin creeps up on me and smacks me in the face (figuritive language). I so often feel more like a lost person than a saint. More like Judas than Jesus. I push people away. I am so negative about myself in my head that my mouth has to build me up to hide it. I sit in my room on a saturday night with wet eyes because I am so scared of what the future holds. I have no faith, I have no trust, I have no belief.

YET! in all of this, I hear God telling me that I have a great future ahead. He is moving things in ways I will never know and would probably be mad at him over in the now if I did know. I could never feel like this could be written about me:

"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped.
He said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked I shall return there The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.' Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." (Job 1:20-22)

""Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:10)

God looks down on me and sees a jewel in the rough. I love my roughness, He hates it. In the end I will be a beautiful and precious object - but rubbing off the roughness hurts. I want to stay rough. I would rather my cancer spread than go through the pain of the surgery. But I have a loving Father. He knows that the hard times lead to strength. Practice makes perfect in my relationship with the Father. The more I have the live by faith, the easier it will be to rest in faith.

This should be my prayer:
"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Cor 4:16-18)

If Job, through the loss of his family, fortune, and health, could worship God; if Paul through beatings, shipwrecks, stonings, and the like could say that these are "light and momentary" who am I to question God? Who am I to cry over what will amount to spilled milk?

Personal prayer - God, I am sorry for loving too much... loving the idea of JNB, loving myself, loving pleasure. I am sorry for not loving at all... not loving You and Your ways. Continue to build me into the man you want me to be. I want to be pliable in Your almighty hands. I want to have faith. I know this will be tough and that things may get worse before they get better - but like a master physician, You probably will have to cut on me a whole lot before the sickness is gone. If in my pain I curse and squeal, please forgive me. If I get off the gurney and start to run - please tie me down. If my hopes and dreams are shattered like a ball player with a bum knee, give it to me straight. In the end, I want to be able to die knowing that the Kingdom's work was added to through Your work in me. If I can minister to just one person so they run towards you - all the growing pains will be worth it.

Amen.

Praying through the Psalms

For the first time in my life, I am attempting to read through the Bible in a year. It is an enjoyable and meaningful exercise, and I am grateful to my accountability partner John for walking beside me in this endeavor. Right now I am in Genesis and Psalms. I love Genesis for the historical and theological readings, but for me nothing in the Bible can stand up to the Psalms for drawing me into glorifying God. Some of my favorite Psalms are 1, 18, 40, 77, and 139.

This is Psalm 139 (NASB)
1O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar.
3You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
4Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
5You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.
6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
7Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
9If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
10Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
11If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,"
12Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You.
13For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.
14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.
15My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.
17How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand When I awake, I am still with You.
19O that You would slay the wicked, O God; Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed.
20For they speak against You wickedly, And Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22I hate them with the utmost hatred; They have become my enemies.
23Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
24And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

What a profound look at God's omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience. A good practice to have is to pray the Psalms back to God as a form of worship. Another idea is to rewrite to Psalm in your own words, than pray that to God. David's words are great, but something from your heart is great too. For example I will include my personal rewording of Psalm 139.

Oh God! Make me transparent
As I already am to You
You know my actions
My hang-outs, cliques, and thoughts
I cannot say a word that You do not already know
You have me surrounded
I have to put up my hands in surrender.
Where could I escape to?
The skies, the depths, heaven, hell - You are there
The darkness of depression
The lights of fame
They are the same to you.
You made me - and You did a wonderful job
Thank you for that - cause I sometimes doubt my utility
You laid out my steps
Even before I knew how to walk
Now that is worthy of praise.
Keep me transparent - as I am
Even keep my righteous anger in check
Lead me in the steps you have for me.

I hope this can help you look at the Psalms as a living book, something you can go to no matter how you are feeling and get a good word about God.

Love: child of thankfulness

This past Sunday I taught Sunday school on the following passage. Seeing that the few of you who may read this site are probably not in my Sunday school class, I will talk about it with you.

Luke 7:40-50 - And Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to say to you." And he replied, "Say it, Teacher." "A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. "When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?" Simon answered and said, "I suppose the one whom he forgave more." And He said to him, "You have judged correctly." Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. "You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. "You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. "For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." Then He said to her, "Your sins have been forgiven." Those who were reclining at the table with Him began to say to themselves, "Who is this man who even forgives sins?" And He said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Jesus is not saying that Simon the Pharisee truly had less sins that needed forgiveness. Jesus was showing that in his own heart, Simon did not acknowledge his sins. Lacking recognition of his depravity held Simon back from loving the Savior, Jesus. Simon was a religious man, a guy who should have known the Scriptures well enough to notice that he had not lived a perfectly holy life, that he was a sinner. However, Simon was self-righteous. Simon was the perfect foil for the sinful woman. Naturally, we would look at this woman, who is believed to have been a prostitute, as the villain in the story. Yet her love and broken nature towards Jesus makes her into the protagonist here. The prostitute is who we are shown to emulate, not the religious man.

Let's look at this in light of how we can use this in our lives. We must recognize our sins. ALL OF THEM! It is so easy to be thankful to God for clearing us of our "big sins". Premarital sex, drug use, thievery, and the like are the sins we are glad Jesus died for. What about our unforgiveness to our first boyfriend/girlfriend that broke our heart in 9th grade that we have been carrying around for a decade? What about our lustful thoughts that creep into our heads when we are at the beach? What about our coveting of our neighrbor's shiny new corvette? Our "little" or "pet" sins are just as harmful to us as are our big sins. When we talk about people behind their backs, we are sinning. Jesus died for this sin as well as for any other sin. Once we recognize our sinfulness we are free to love God for who He truly is and what He did for us on the cross. When we are not thankful for the blood of Christ, we are not loving God. Worship, evangelism, tithing - all of these are wonderful, but without thankfulness to God for His divine forgiveness, we do not love HIM.

In this story in Luke, who had the impact? Who is remembered for their sacrificial act? Not the self-righteous pharisee, but the broken and thankful prostitute. Become broken for your sins, that is where you will find forgiveness.